In my last post ( http://pete-tizard.blogspot.com/2012/01/unmitigated-running-disaster.html ) I commented on my Hampstead Heath run. I hurt myself and have subsequently been trying to nurse my way back to running. I tried running about 10 days ago and had to give up after a mile due to impact pains in my right knee ("the other knee"). I always assumed it would be the knee that may of prevented me from completing the marathon and is somewhat ironic that it was the other knee. The Friday gone was the last day possible of pulling out of the marathon and giving my place to some fortunate runner. The other knee is still screwed (along with the knee) and I do not want to do any long term damage and hence have thrown in the towel - so much for crawling (http://pete-tizard.blogspot.com/2011/10/first-post-first-thoughts.html).
That Sunday run has been playing on loop in my head - the anger and frustration has not abated. Not sure if I am to blame due to not being in the right physical state on the run and not stretching after? Did I hubristically take on a steep hill at too fast a pace without enough hill work under my belt? Was it due to not wearing in my new shoes enough? Is the knee at fault, was the other knee over compensating for too long and decided to give in its P45? Ultimately it doesn't matter, it was probably a combination of all this and a large slice of bad luck.
I want to make it clear that I am very upset about dropping out, it was not a decision I took lightly and it fills me with regret that I will not be able to partake in this great occasion. When I see runners jog past me with grace and that look of steely determination it fills me with yearning and sadness. I am very grateful for all the support and money that I've received - I can only apologize again for not going through with it. The good news is that I can defer my marathon place for next year and the money already donated will be put towards this (to those who donated, please email me as I am happy to donate to another charity of your choice).
The experience of training for a marathon (although I did not get far into it) has been beneficial for 3 reasons. The first and most important is that it has cemented my passion for running and is something that I want to keep at and grow old with. I have made myself a goal that I will run a marathon every year for the foreseeable future and am excited about the places it will take me. I was lent a very inspirational book (http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Talk-About-When-Running/dp/0099526158/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1329079981&sr=8-1) where I have essentially borrowed (ripped off) the author's goal.
Secondly it introduced me to the joy of writing, you can only be so creative at work writing emails to clients or filing RPDs (the majority of you won't know what I am on about here). I do get a kick out of writing and I realise my works is no doubt full of clichés and poorly written proses. However it has given me the opportunity to take a retrospective look at my life and formative years. You'll be excited to hear that I will continue to update this blog (sporadically at least once a month) about my recovery and leading into when I actually complete a marathon.
The third part is it has stressed the importance of exercising your core as well as getting the required miles under your belt. Pilates forces you to stretch every sinew (table top position), focus your mind and be in the moment. It is very technique driven which is very different from running where you just get up and go.
What next? That's a difficult questions as like everything in life you can plan and plan and then get hit by a bus. However, I will be emailing my doctor (GP and knee specialist) to see if I can get a referral for a scan. Once I have a scan on the other knee I then should hopefully have the information available to make an informed decision. It will be a very shitty situation if I need surgery on both knees. The upside to this would be if I was on crutches for a while it would mean my guns would get really large and transform them from their current twiglet state.
Thank you to RNIB (http://www.rnib.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx) for their support and understanding - I am excited about running and raising money for them in 2013 and beyond - you lot are the good guys, keep up the great work!
For all (3) that have read my blog (and will hopefully continue to), its been a pleasure and I'll catch you on my next post.